I like to pride myself on being a very open and honest individual, granted I tend to be a little too open and honest at times. Over the years, I’ve realized that not everyone is open to my honesty and openness. To the point that I only give my ‘honest’ opinion if asked for; With the obvious exception to this platform, as this is my blog centered on brutal honesty and whatnot. When it comes to personal relationships, I generally try to tread lightly and try to be very mindful of what and how I say things, (the operative word here being TRY). That being said, I know a certain individual; and for the purpose of this post, we shall call her Straight*. Now, Straight* is much like me, a very honest and straightforward person. However, she is not particularly good at dealing with constructive criticism. This is where the story or should I say the problem starts.
; Now Straight* has a beautiful daughter, and they have a beautiful relationship. Her daughter is still very young, let’s say 7 years old (not real age), and we will call her Joy*. Straight and Joy have a lot of similarities, however, they also have a few differences; as do all mothers and daughters. One of these differences is, Straight has wash-and-wear hair aka you don’t have to do much to the hair. While Joy has beautiful, thick naturally curly hair, much like mine. Naturally, because of the difference in hair texture, there are different means of managing their respective hair. I honestly think Straight missed the memo on that, because she is treating Joy’s hair as tough it was like her hair. She basically just washes it and lets it air dry, or she makes use of a dryer from time to time.
Let me just put this out there, I’m not mom-shaming her or judging her, I’m merely trying to help her without calling her out. Hopefully, she reads this and takes it for what it is, me trying to help. I have to say Straight has not taken to using chemicals on her daughters’ hair as most moms do with kids who have different hair textures to theirs. When I was young my mother did this. She used chemicals like relaxers on my hair to make it “manageable”. I don’t blame her though, I mean, going natural was not really the “in-thing” back then. Back then, straight hair was the way to go. Also, there were little to no natural hair products available to the public back then.
In today’s day and age, we have the world at our fingertips, and the natural hair movement is strong. So Straight should not be having any problems. To me it would seem that she does not really know what to do or where to start, I thought to basically take it upon myself to give her a few tips on how or where to start when it comes to natural hair. I am by no means a natural hair expert, so this is not a “set in stone” commandments type of guide.
- Do Research
The internet is your friend. YouTube is your friend. I follow a few different natural hair YouTubers. There are loads of videos on how to and what to use. HERE and HERE are links to 2 YouTubers I follow.
Research on different hair types. You need to know the type of hair you work with. There are different hair types out there e.g. 1A or 4C (see pic below)
Knowing the type of hair can help when it comes to deciding on which products work well with certain hair.
- Try out sample sizes of a product.
Before investing in a product range and wasting your money, check if they offer any sample sizes. These products are expensive and you don’t want to have a product that does not work. When choosing products, look for the ones that do not have harsh chemicals. In your basic product list, you need shampoo, conditioner, oils, deep conditioner, and creams to treat the hair.
- DIY it.
If you have the time, try making your own products like gels and creams, this is inexpensive and you can make a small quantity to try out first.
- Check out different hairstyles.
When you doing your research check out different hairstyles. These help with growth and it minimizes having to try and figure out what to do with the hair daily. When my hair was longer, I use to like doing twist outs and Bantu knots, as this stays in for a few days. But there are a lot of others that you can do.
Make no mistake the natural hair life is not easy, it takes a lot of time and effort but it is worth it. So Straight, if you are reading this, you are doing a great job as a mother and hopefully, you have picked up a thing or two and will be able to do Joy’s hair confidently and with more ease.
As always, these are my Naked Bullets. If you have any, shoot right ahead in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you.
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