I’ve been wanting to do a hair post of my own for some time now; but for some or other reason unbeknown to me, I keep postponing it. You may recall that I did a post about my friends’ child’s hair HERE, and I’m sorry to report, but the child’s hair is looking worse for wear. Now before you go judging my comment please read that post, then you may judge away, Judy. (get that, Judge Judy…)
I’ve been natural for some time now, and what made me write this post is a combination of events /things. First, a friend that is also natural now inspired me so much with her simple status that read along the lines of “we don’t go natural, but we return to it” this is me paraphrasing here. Then the super awesome happened, ya’ll know I am referring to the amazing Miss Univer 2019 right. Awesome not just because she is a South African but a Natural haired black South African. Once again uniting us as a Nation. The oh so Stunning Zozibini Tunzi is all that and a bag of chips.
My natural hair journey started with transitioning, meaning I didn’t cut off all my hair but did a monthly trim of my dead ends and I did not use any heat or chemicals on my hair. This was a time of Bantu knots, twist outs and kinda doing wash and goes’. Transitioning takes time and to put it to you mildly I grew very impatient, very quickly with not seeing results so I did my first “big chop”. This was a very liberating feeling. My hair started growing very fast and I loved it. Then when it looked long enough I did a length check at a salon that catered to natural hair. They didn’t use any chemicals and there was no judgment for my ‘boskop’. I must say my hair looked and felt amazing, however, the first wash after the length check had me in tears. My hair was straight with almost no curl pattern. I messaged the owner to check if maybe somehow a chemical or two got slipped in to make my hair “manageable”. She assured me that they didn’t and her other client also had the same issue. The only explanation she could think of was that it could be the new flatiron they used. Her advice was to wash my hair daily and apply a deep conditioner about 3 times a week and condition daily. I did this for almost a month and still no change.
And so came ‘Big-chop’ number 2. This time it was even shorter, as in schoolboy cut short together with two stripes on the side and I loved it. Then an event rolled around and once again I schoolboy cut my hair. After the last cut, however, my hair took forever to grow back, and it felt very frustrating.
I’ve been using all sorts of products; some I loved and others not such. Today, as I’m sitting in the salon getting some box braids, I’m thinking of my hair journey and how I’ve grown to love my hair. I am my hair. Some people want me to relax my hair as they don’t get why I’m natural, some just don’t like it. That’s ok, they don’t have to ‘get it’. Don’t get me wrong, I still grow frustrated when my Afro doesn’t want to Afro or my curls don’t want to curl, but hey this is my hair and I take it as it comes.
I’m just so over the moon with miss universe being natural and showing the world flames; natural hair and all. The other day I read a Facebook post along the lines of; “my curls are natural not hand made or man-made it’s not the same sis”, and I thought really? Are we now doing this? But that’s a post for another day.
Look I get the India Arie song I am not my hair, and there is a lot of truth bombs in there. Let’s face it though, if you not feeling your hair it’s a KO. Even if you are Slaying for days and serving all the looks. If your hair is not #onfleek, like the young ones would say, then forget about it. Now when I say on fleek, I mean you love your hair whichever style you wearing it.
Growing up I use to want long straight hair because I thought that was the best-looking hair, and according to society it was. So I did the Sheen straight, relaxer, the works. My decision to go back to my natural hair was only late in my adult life. I don’t know what really pushed me but I remember thinking that one day when I have a child, a daughter specifically, how will I tell her to love herself, hair and all if I’m not comfortable with mine. So that’s when it all started.
Don’t get me wrong if you choose to relax, straightened or perm your hair that is your choice no judgment here. I’m doing me and trying to do what I think is best for me, my future and that of my kids. Does this mean I will forbid my daughter from relaxing or straightening her hair? of cause not, but I want her to not feel as if it is the only way to feel good? Having straight “manageable” hair is not the only way or even the best way, and she needs to know that she is beautiful. How her hair looks do not define her. Confidence is beautiful, not being boastful or cocky but confident in the knowledge that you are you and no one else can be you. this is true for boys as well.
We need to raise our kids well and in doing that they will raise their kids well and the world will be a better place and dare I say no more violence, gangsterism, etc in the world. Wow look at that I started talking about hair now we are here. Let me leave now before i start something else.
As always, these are my Naked Bullets. If you have any, shoot right ahead in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you.
Bang Bang Naked Bullets Out.