This is life / Uncategorized / Yoh im a Mom

Why You Backseat Parenting?

I am a firm believer in what works for one, does not always work for the other, as well as the age-old proverb: “do you booboo”. That being said, I am under no assumption that everyone shares my sentiment. Even more so when it comes to parenting. Allow me to elaborate.

For those of you who are new to these here parts, I am the proud mother of one very talkative daughter. I won’t exactly say that I have a parenting style, but I am the disciplinarian in the family. Eden, our daughter, has her dad wrapped around her little pinky, and she can get away with almost anything; especially when I’m not around. He does discipline her, don’t get me wrong, but for all intent and purposes, I am the “bad cop” and he is the fun “good cop”. Hubby being the good-cop does come in handy every so often. I mean, who do you guys think she cries for when she wakes up late at night, yip you guessed it, good old dad. Our little Ms. talky talk turned two (2) in January, and let me just say that it’s been interesting, to say the least. I am a very anti-negative talk. I do not like labeling things like “terrible twos” or “naughty corner”. I prefer things like “growing emotionally” or “time-out.” I really, really, really do not like it when people want to label my daughter as naughty or whatever. I wrote a post on negativity some time ago. You can read more on that HERE.

Eden our daughter is such a joyful, smart girl. Now that her vocabulary is expanding, she has to deal with a lot of changes while figuring out what she likes and dislikes. Naturally, there is a lot this tiny little human still needs to figure out, and occasionally (more often), she has these spells where she struggles to express her feelings, which often leads to crying and screaming. To say this is not a fun thing is probably an understatement. Look she is chilled (mostly) but when she is overstimulated without having a proper nap, the crying becomes hectic. For some looking in, she will understandably seem “naughty” or like she is “throwing a tantrum”. When this happens especially in public, a lot of people have a lot to say. You generally get those: “It’s because you don’t discipline your child properly”, comments or you get the judgy side-eye. We oftentimes also get the: “have you tried this or that” advice. I am sure these people mean well, but it’s those ones who blatantly blame you or judge you as a parent that inspired this post.

‘You know at some point we have to stop swaddling him, right?’

So this one is for you people, the smart know-it-alls who have so much to say. Mind your own business. Yes, I said it, and I’ll say it again if I have to. Who gives you the right to tell me what to do and how to do it. Do you perhaps pay her school fees or buy her nappies? Do you perhaps comfort her at night when she wakes up screaming or feed her chicken nuggets when you are too lazy to cook? No? I didn’t think so. So who gives you the right to sit on your parenting thrown and judge us, mere mortals? The only time you can say something is when you are reporting me or a parent when they are literally placing their kids’ lives in danger or abusing them if this is not the case, then back off! We as parents have a hard time enough trying to raise our kids into respectable young people who are no serial killers. We try our best to raise them into people they can be proud of. We don’t need to, nor do we have the time to defend our parenting to anyone. We need to stick together, support each other, lift each other up, and not go around bashing or shaming one another.

If it sounds like I’m going too hard or overreacting then I’m sorry… not sorry. I’m serious. Stop judging and shaming parents who are just out here trying their best. The next time you feel like calling someone out for their parenting skills, just don’t. If you truly have a suggestion, and I mean suggestion in the lightest of sense. Do so privately, and in a loving manner. Remember it’s not what you say but how you say it that matters. Also, another point to consider is this: When you make a suggestion, remember that the person to whom you are making the suggestion is under no obligation to act on or respond to the suggestion made…

Ok, so I’m done ranting and raving. I’ll leave you with these words. Stop shaming and be elevating.

As always these are my Naked Bullets. If you have any; shoot right ahead in the comments section below. I would love to hear from you.

Bang Bang Naked Bullets OUT.

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