I have been avoiding writing this post for some time now. Mainly because I feel that I’m still working through my #feels and I’m still trying to figure out some stuff. Hopefully, by writing this, I will be able to close the chapter in my book called life.
It all began with a simple phone call from Mr.Lifes Good late one-afternoon last year (2018). Hubby had just shared with me how a couple, whom we were busy walking a path with and building a relationship with, was having financial difficulties. So much so that they were evicted from their home that very week. We had just moved into a bigger place a few days prior to this, so my first instinct was that they should move in with us. I mean they have newly converted Christians, they needed a place to stay, and they had a daughter that could play with our daughter and they could grow up as siblings. See… sorted.
Mr. Lifes Good and I arranged a ‘sit-down’ with the couple and presented them with the option to move in with us, obligation-free. That very evening we met up and they decided to accept our offer. We didn’t really make a set of rules, we just basically said we all needed to be open and honest with each other. Also if a problem or issue arose, that we should speak to each other about it and not behind each other’s backs. All went smoothly with the move and we were all happy campers. The couple decided to help my husband with his business, something they basically were doing before the move, so this just made it all the more ideal.
A few months into the new living arrangement, things started to change, the couple, received a contract that brought in a lot of money. Now maybe I was paranoid but to me, it seemed that now that they had money they started to change. I could be wrong but they started to do things on their own and was secretive about it. When we had a family meeting and I raised my concerns I was told that they were basically not the kind of people that share their plans with others like my husband and I did so liberally. I understood what they were saying because when we connected with them it was basically only the 3 of them. They didn’t really have contact with their family on both sides. Kinda like a “us against the world” type of vibe. The only info we got was they were working on something and will involve us or give details at a later stage.
This went on for weeks and tensions grew and the mood in the house was anything but friendly. We had another meeting and they decided that they are going to move out. According to them, they did not have somewhere else to go yet. We spoke things through and they decided to stay. The days following said meeting was pleasant and we even stayed up late the one night just talking and being friends. A few days later we were at a gathering together and the announcement that they are moving to a place and all the perks they will be having and what they will be doing there. Mr.Lifes Good and I are were shocked because we knew something was in the works as they said, but we didn’t know they would be moving out that coming weekend.
Never the less we were happy for what was about to unfold in their lives, my husband organized a second bakkie to help them move. We helped them pack and even helped them move. During the moving process, we found out some shocking truths that really hurt us and made us feel betrayed and used. We didn’t want to just write them off as we were moving in the same circles now as we introduced them to all our friends and family. We decided to get the help of a mediator to be the middle man in the meeting as we wanted to confront them about what we had found out.
If you know me, you know that I’m not able to be mad at someone for a very long time whether or not they apologize or not. At this meeting this couple denied everything, coming up with excuses, blaming us and saying they were unwelcome in our house and so forth. Now I’m not going to go into detail about all we did and how we shared our home with them. I did apologize for making them feel unwelcome even though this was the first we heard about this. Needless to say, the meeting did not end well, they never did apologize for hurting us or didn’t even acknowledge that we were hurt.
Now I’m not trying to paint my husband and me as the victims or as the people in the right. After all, there are always 2 sides to a story and in our case its 4 sides. All I know is that I’ve learned a few valuable lessons through this ordeal.
1- Always pray for wisdom and seek God first before making life decisions. Just because the thing looks like its the right or Christian thing to do does not mean it is.
2- You don’t have to share everything, with everyone you call a friend. Not everyone you call a friend is a true friend. Pray for wisdom and discernment from God.
3- Don’t let past hurts determine how you give in the future. Just because you have been hurt in the past don’t let that make you into a person you are not. Help where you are led to.
4- I think I’m still learning from this, however, the hurt I felt before is gone. It has been replaced with a bit of resentment for us having to pick up the pieces of our lives.
As always, these are my Naked Bullets. If you have any, shoot right ahead in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you.
Bang Bang Naked Bullets Out.